Friday, March 31, 2006

The Sky is the limit!

Baby doing one of his stunts again. I wonder if Ren-ci want to employ him for their next charity show. :P Baby practises diligently on a daily basis.

Black Friday

Saw a dead kitten on the way to work today. :(
The weird thing is, it was lying on the AYE. What is a kitten doing on the AYE?
RIP little kitten. You are in safe hands now.

Thursday, March 30, 2006

Tribute to Feodora Part III - A full circle

This is the last part of my tribute to Feodora. And also the hardest, most raw part to write. The wounds in my heart are still fresh, but I believe to move on, I have to talk about it.

Feodora was very young. She died when she was 9 month 10 days old. I never expect to lose her that young. There were no early warning signs. No symptoms. I was happily waiting for CFA to promote Siberians to championship class and show her under premiership for the first time! Last month, CFA finally approved the breed. It came as a bittersweet consolation. Feodora didn't live to see that. This is a picture of feo standing still for the judge at the acf show in queensland. She was in kitten class.

There are so many things I wanted to do with her, but thinking that she has a lifetime with me, I procratinate. I go out shopping during weekends instead of staying home with her. I took leave to go overseas for short holidays but never have I take leave to stay home just to be with her. I wanted to bring her out for walks more often. How she loved the grass. After the novelty cooled off, I seldom bring her out. All these I regret now... if only I have known....

Feodora adored cheese. I will give her bits for treats every now and then. I noticed something was wrong when she stopped eating. She used to 'demand' her food every morning, so that was a bit worrying. Never expecting anything could be wrong, I decided to wait a few days and see. That was on saturday.
Monday morning came. Feodora still didn't want to eat. I got more worried. She also spends the whole day sitting on the carpet, looking tired. I fed her some cheese, and for the first time in her life, she rejected the cheese.I knew something was wrong, so I made an appointment at the vet and brought her in Monday night. I went to the vet with the mentality that this couldn't be indigestion, or stress, or something minor. I mean, this was a healthy young kitten, what could be wrong?

Turned out, I couldn't be more wrong.

The vet felt Dora's stomach and her eyes started to mist up. That totally freaked me out. And for the first time, it hit me that this could be serious. The vet could feel a big lump in her stomach. Her eye lids and ears were also a bit yellow, a sign of jaundice. 'Your kitten is very sick,' the vet told me, crying herself. I was already crying then. All i could say was 'please save my baby.' The rest of the night was hell. They needed to draw some blood for blood test. They tried the 2 front paws... the blood was too slow. So they have to try the thigh instead. Words can't express how helpless I felt standing there looking at how needles are poked into my baby. Every jab is like a stab to my heart. She was so weak. She didn't even struggle. That was followed by x-ray. I took hold of her two front legs while the vet assistant took her two back legs, they took an x-ray of her stomach. After that was a long wait for the results.

I set at the bench, telling dora how pretty her bandage look. Oh pink! matches your carrier! So pretty! All these idle talk, while tears are flowing down my cheeks.

Finally, blood test results. Her liver is bad. X-rays shows a large lump the size of a tennis ball near her ribcage. Vet explain this could be something she had swallowed, or a growth. She thinks most likely it's a growth, since her liver is already damaged. But we will only know after we open her up. But she has jaundice now, so surgery may lead to complications. However, the situation is too urgent to not do the surgery immediately. Feodora was so young, she deserved a chance. I gave the go-ahead for the operation which is scheduled for the next day. In the mean time, I opt to bring her home instead of hospitalise.

That night, I couldn't sleep. I cried a lot. I stroke her and prayed. I prayed and I prayed. I begged God not to take away my baby. I asked God to please make her well again.

The next morning, I packed Dora into her carrier and drove to the vet's. It was only a 10 min drive, Dora started coughing and vomiting. She was normally very good at car rides, she has never gotten car sick before. I was so worried I burst into tears. With one hand I opened her mouth to check if there is anything stuck inside, the other hand I held the steering wheel. Dora coughed out a large amount of yellow liquid. Her whole cushion was soaked. I later learnt this was bile. It was the longest journey to the vet ever. I thought I was going to lose her there and then.

Finally, we arrived at the vet's. I took leave. Dora's Godmother Nadia was there with me. So was my bf and sister. I am so grateful to them for being just there. Dora was put on a drip, inside a cage. She looked so sad then. My heart broke again.

After that, everything was a blur. The growth in dora turned out to be lymphatic cancer. and it has already started spreading. It is all over, impossible to remove. The vet say it will be very cruel to wake her up from the operation, because she may just die from the pain in her weak state. He recommended euthanasia. It was a very painful decision. On one hand I do not want dora to go, but I also do not want her to die from pain. With a heavy heart, I signed the approval form. And Dora never woke up from the surgery table.

The final scene of her on the operation table, the smell of the clinic... all these are still so vivid now. I cannot remember how I still manage to go to work the next day. But the mere thought of her brings tear to my eyes.

A week later, I collected her ashes from the clinic. My little girl has completed one full cycle. I brought her ashes home, as promised. Mommy will bring you home.

Bad night ...

Last night was a horrible night. Cattie_Baby was teasing Doggie_honey at 3am! Hello! I need my beauty sleep! They were making such a den! Doggie_honey was so excited inside her sleeping crate that she kept shaking the cage door. Cattie_baby kept putting his paw inside to 'catch' Doggie_honey. To add to the noise, Doggie_honey started yapping from excitement! It would have been an amusing sight, but at 3am!!!!!! I coax Doggie_honey to sleep, she was quite tired, so she fell asleep soon. With one side of the noise maker down, i thought I can go back to my sleep. Hell no! Cattie_baby decided the bedroom is too boring. He OPENED the door and wandered outside instead. That's no so bad. To lazy to get up, I decided to let him roam the living room. BUT, the rascal decided to open every single door in the house. Most of them are locked. And THAT WAS EVEN NOISIER!!!!! It woke up Doggie_Honey again... and in addition Cattie_Doll and Cattie_Latte. In the end, I have to make a trip out to get all of them back into the room again. By the time I finish, it was 5am. Heck... the night is gone... and I don;t know why, i suddenly thought of Feodora. The last time I stayed up all night, it was the night before she died. I stayed up the whole night to pray, and to stroke her. She laid on my bed the whole night. I didn't complain then. In fact, I wished the night could last forever... so why am I complaining now? What is a night, compared to the health of my babies? It would be more worrying if they DON'play.Somehow everything seems so insignificant now. I couldn't believe I was so angry then. Sorry Cattie_Baby. Mommy was horrible to you. I will give you extra fish fish later. *muacks*

Wednesday, March 29, 2006

Such a cute shot... they were really cute babies...

Happier posts

There was a time both of them could fit in this bed. Now nobody can, not even individually.

Exactly 4 months

Exactly 4 month ago, on this day, Feodora left.

Tribute to Feodora - Part II

Feodora arrived in Singapore in a pink carrier, all covered with pee and feces. She is afterall, still a baby, cannot hold her bladder for too long. It was a long flight from Brisbane. But finally, Feodora was home! She was a happy little kitten. She explored the house as if she was the queen of the house. She accepted Baby & Latte immediately, although it took them some time to get use to her.
She has so many cute habits, I really don't know how to record all of them down. She will follow you around in the morning until you open the can of cat food. She will wait at your foot and 'chirp', asking you to hurry up with that food. She eats with relish. hahah...
She sleeps on the bed every night. Curled up around the feet, at the waist, anywhere she could get a warm spot.
She likes the sun, always sun tanning by the window where the sun comes in.
She is a very good climber. She could do all kind of acrobatic stunts on the cat tree. In fact, i bought the cat tree for her...
Here is a picture of her looking really miserable in my sister's arm. She doesn't like to be carried around. But she will still tolerate me. She growls when being carried, not the fierce kind. Just to show her displeasure. When she realise she cannot have her own way, she stops. That was really cute. :P Spoilt you may say, but i find that so endearing.

I would like to write about her last journey too... but that is still a very painful memory... and i know i will have to do that in private. course i will cry again...

Stay tuned for tribute to Feodora - Part II

Too mentally exhausting to complete Feodora's story in one day. I will continue next time. Stay tuned.

Important Note!

I value my life, so I must say this.
Nadia introduced me to the wonderful breed of Siberians.
Marie allowed me to see and touch my first Siberian.
Yvonne Nadia and I... I think we are the only Siberian Fanatics in Singapore. We should start our own Siberian Cat Club. (SCC). Wahhahahahah....

Tribute to Feodora

The thought is always there, I have always wanted to write a tribute to Feodora, but just haven't taken the time to sit down and actually do it. She is always on my mind. Doing this is not easy. Every picture brings tears to my eyes.

Tribute to Miakoschka Feodora - The little cat that lived with me for a mere 6 months but will reside forever in my heart...

The beginning:

The photo Marie sent me. Marie offered me a couple of kittens. I was really undecided then. And then I saw this photo. I don't know. I was smitten then. There is something about her that caught my eye. There were kittens in the same litter who are better type. But eventually, I still chose her. Then, it was a frantic search for a nice russian name. Feodora: Gift from God. How appropriate. A beautiful name for a beautiful kitty. Marie commented that she will be a wonderful kitten for me. How correct she was. Feodora was a purrfect kitten.

The trip to Feodora's home:
Nadia and I made a trip to Marie's home. Marie, then an unknown stranger to us, offer us to stay at her home. What great hospitality! There, I got to meet Marie's many many cats, and of course, Feodora for the first time!!! This is Feodora and her sister Isidora. Coincidentally, her sister is also named -dora. hahahha...
It wasn't a fairy tale. Feodora didn't like me at first sight. Hahaha... in fact, she ran away from me everytime i approach. She will growl when I carry her. Here is one of the few instances she played with me. That's me in the jeans, and the Nine West shoes that nad wants to buy! hahahahahha.....
I was more smitten with Isidora, her sister, who was the more outgoing one. The first night I slept with her, I didn't bring a litter box into the room and she eliminated on the floor! ahhahaha... I must add, I think Tim peed on nad's bag! anyway, someone did pee on nad's bag!!!! hahahah... should be tim. :P
Feodora was very naughty. Being a kitten, she chases her sister around the house, having lots of fun. They were a great joy to watch, Isi, tim and feo.
Here's one of feo being caught raiding the wardrobe. She was a happy little cat. My worry then was, will she like me? It would be so sad to have a little cat that runs away from you all the time. But I realise now, that's needless worry. Seems like it's a siberian trait. They adore their owners but are wary of strangers. We observed that the cats never behave that way with Marie. Hahaha... anyway, we know when Feodora finally arrive in Singapore.

Tuesday, March 28, 2006

Introducing Nicsha Sheza Doll & gang

How can I not post a photo of Doll! Fetched her from the airport on March 10th. She is my the 4th member of my little animal household.

Household ranking (so far):
1. Cattie_Baby: He is the first. He thinks he is the top cat. So far, he seems to be correct. Although Cattie_Doll challenges his position ever so often. Way to go, girl power!
2. Cattie_Doll: I think she is now rank number 2. Everywhere she goes, other lowly citizens give way. Except Cattie_Baby of course. But Cattie_Doll is strong. She knows how to bribe the people with rubs and purrs. I think Cattie_Baby's position is shaky. hahaha.... we shall see.
3. Cattie_Latte: Eat, sleep. Eat, sleep. Cattie_Latte is a very peaceful cat. He doesn't care about hierachy. As long as there is food, he is happy. This puts him lowest among the cats, but consolation is, he is still above the doggie.
4. Doggie_Honey: Likes everybody. (very one-sided love) Other than Cattie_Baby, I don't see any catties that seems especially fond of her. Hahhaa... Cattie Baby is her best friend. Good tactic. If you can't be the best, be-friend the best. Hahahaa....

Special Category: Cattie_Dora: She was such a wonderful kitty, she deserves a category all by herself. She was a very friendly cat, but also a no-nonsense cat. She was very sociable, but held her own very well against the other cats. Definitely not a push-over. I believe she would have make a great matriarch of the household.

End off with a picture of beloved Feodora. This is my favourite picture of her. Tongue out. Cheeky as usual. :)

Baby Latte aka brokeback mountain

Sometimes I really doubt the sexual orientation of cattie_baby & cattie_latte... hmmm.... they sleep hugging each other. They are depressed when kept in different rooms. They lick each other dry after bathing. If one goes off somewhere, say to the vet, they will hug each other on 'reunion'. I don't know.... they are weird.... hahahaa...

peaceful morning!

Finally, i experience a peaceful morning. Sleeping with 3 cats and 1 dog is not easy. They seem to gang up and make sure I have a hectic morning before i leave for work.

Anyway, today is different. Everything is in place this morning. Doggie held her bowels until I bring her out to relief herself. Cattie_Baby was sleeping soundly beside me on my pillow. He is usually up on the aircon, cupboard, anywhere high. Cattie_Latte is sleeping as usual. he is the lowest maintenance cat in the house. Cattie_Doll is happily eating her kibbles. Good. Very good.
If only everyday can be this peaceful. :)

I love my babies!

Monday, March 27, 2006

2 more days...

2 more days and it's 29th again. Another month has past since dora died. :(
I have a new cat. But it's not dora. there will never be another dora...

Honey ate cert!!!!!!

Woke up this morning to find Honey's pedigree cert on the floor. In pieces!!!!!
Baby must have been part of this conspiracy. He must be really jealous of all the pedigree members and is out to destroy all their pedigrees!!!!!!
anyway, i put the cert in a file, placed the file on a shelf at the TOP of the table lor. Baby must have pull it out and threw it onto the floor! Honey, being the unknowing victim, must have happily chewed it. DAMN!!!
I have since hide doll, dora and the left over of honey's cert in a drawer. Naughty baby.

Thursday, March 23, 2006


Death is not new to me. In the past few years, I have lost my grandfather, subsequently my grandmother. I was devastated then, but somehow, i got over it. When I think of my grandparents now, the first thoughts are of them sharing a warm moment with me, not of them lying at the funeral parlor...

So why is it so difficult for me to let go, to move on, after my kitten Feodora died? I call her kitten, because she was just a tender 8 months cat. Why? Why? It was such a traumatising experience. Now as I am writing this, i still can't help crying. Unlike for the cases of my grandparents, when I think of her now, my first thoughts are of her bandaged back leg, her look when she was kept in the vet's holding area, her spread-eagle unconsious while the vet assistant shave her belly, and eventually her lifeless body on the operation table.

It's so hard to move on. Maybe her death came too unexpectedly and premature. I don't know... But I really don't know when I can think of her and not cry anymore.

I miss her so much.

Monday, March 06, 2006

my fuzzy babies

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I have got a new chihuahua... sadly... feodora passed away on 29th nov 2005. :( more about that maybe in another post. feel so sad just thinking about her...